Love without borders : 3

We were back at the hospital so that James’ wound would be dressed. This time I remained in the waiting room, he insisted on going in alone. As I sat on the bench, one of the orderlies in a navy blue uniform approached me.

“Morning Mrs Chawafambira, Doctor Kleinmann needs to see you concerning your husband,” he said.

There were murmurs from people sitting in the waiting room with me. A few looked at me with pity and I had to look away because those looks made me feel sick.

“Do you know exactly what it is about?” I asked the retreating back of the orderly.

“He would not say,” he replied over his shoulder and rounded the curve of the corridor and was gone.

I slowly rose, feeling people’s eyes on me. What had James done this time? Was he dying? Did he have some kind of illness that might be passed onto me?

My heart was beating wildly when I knocked the door marked Dr. F. Kleinmann, General Practitioner. It was opened from within and I stumbled in, my cheeks suddenly burning from embarrassment. The person who had opened the door, a young cleaning lady, smiled warmly at the doctor, sized me up with her eyes then left carrying a tray holding a teapot and teacups, swinging he hips and banged the door behind her.

He sat behind a huge desk, looking amused and on God, delectable. The sun streaming in through the window behind him did magical things to his hair and his gorgeous blue eyes. His shirt was rolled back revealing toned arms lightly dusted with golden hairs.

“Please sit,” I heard him say, reminding me why I was here.

I awkwardly moved to the chair, almost tripping myself from anxiety. I felt him looking at me but I kept my eyes fixed on my lap, twisting my fingers to ease my anxiety. He did not say anything for a long time and the silence fueled my unease. I assumed that he was maybe busy writing something down for James but when I looked up, he was sitting right there, staring at me, his nostrils a little flared. His eyes had taken this different hue; they seemed darker and wilder, with something dangerous swirling in their depths. I felt his stare to the tips of my toes; so raw, like he was seeing something wild, beautiful. This moment was too intense, I had to break it.

“Doctor,” I croaked, “about my husband?”

An emotion I could not read passed on his face and the eyes lost the wild look they had and softened, turning into a lighter blue, sharp, crystal. He ran a shaky hand in his unruly curls and coughed.

“I am sorry if I scared you,” he begun, “there is nothing wrong with your husband, he will heal perfectly.”

“I do not understand then why you had to call me here,” I slowly rose, confused.

“I needed to see you and I did not know how to get your attention?” he said rising too, uncurling his long form lithely like a feline.

I sat down, abruptly. I could not comprehend exactly what was going on here.

“Mara,” he softly said. Or I had imagined him saying it because the name had been uttered softly, like a breath.

He had moved from behind his desk to the front, and stood against the desk, facing me. I could smell his scent, hear him breathe, he was just an arm away, if I reached out I could touch the fine golden hairs on his chest exposed by the top two undone buttons. I crossed and uncrossed my legs feeling myself slip into this moment that was warm, sweet and yet confusing. My heartbeat was like the flapping wings of a captive bird. I wanted to be here, yet I knew that was not supposed to be. I loved the way the doctor was looking at me. No one at looked at me like that, not even James. He looked at me like he was looking at a wonder, moist, sticky, and delectable.

A knock on the door was followed by the cleaning lady I had bumped into earlier in the doctor’s room walking in. She looked annoyed to see me still there and the doctor standing in-front of the desk close to me.

“Do you need anything Doctor?” she said, her voice dripping honey.

I looked up to him to see him amused and keeping his mirth controlled enough to say,

“Nothing at the moment Jane.”

“Okay,” she sashayed out of the room, giving me a dirty look and banging the door again.

He broke into laughter and the sounds of it reminded me of that morning I had watched him from a distance after church. I had immediately left then. I needed to leave too now; this situation was so confusing for me.

I stood, ready to go and he abruptly stopped laughing, disappointed.

“Are you leaving?”

“Yes Doctor, I have been away for long, my husband must be looking for me,” I said, walking to the door.

“It’s Florian, call me Florian yeah?” he said talking long strides and catching me by the door.

I touched the door knob to open the door and then he placed his huge palm on top. My blood should have rushed from my legs to other parts of my body for they suddenly felt weak. I removed my hand from under his but failed to put distance between us as I stood between him and the door.

“You are so tense,” he breathed and I smelt mint on his breath.

I said nothing whilst he spoke and when he was done, he let me go.

“Please consider my offer,” he whispered as I closed the door behind me and walked out into the corridor on wobbly legs.

*****

Yeukai, my neighbour, found me putting more water in the chicken coop for the birds to drink. I had forgotten to do it in the afternoon and I was just doing it then or James would throw a fit when he got home. The chickens and the goats all meant more to him than me, at least he could feed them and sell them, he often told me.

“Mai Jemu,” Yeukai shouted, walking towards me.

“Hello my friend,” I said, straightening.

“Is Jemu here?” she asked, lowering her voice and looking around.

“No he is not, he went with my father to drink and he might come back late or not at all.”

“Oh okay,” she sighed then followed me as I walked into the cooking hut.

My pot of mapapu was burning and I quickly moved it from the blazing fire, burning my fingers in the process. I hissed a curse, sucking the burnt fingers. I added more water into the pot and put it back on the fire to cook then settled on the reed mat after Yeukai.

“So tell me,” she began, “what are your thoughts about the fight over Snodia?”

“Huh?”

“Jemu and some boy from Chiutsi’s fight over Snodia?” she asked again.

I stared at her, nothing registering in my mind and she eventually realised that she was asking and telling me something I was not aware of.

“I am sorry Mai Jemu, I thought you knew about it, baba Keith told me and I assumed that you knew.”

“I do not know what you are talking about Yeukai, what fight? When?” I asked, removing the lid from the pot which was now boiling over.

“Jemu and this tall, dark and ugly boy fought over Snodia. It is said Jemu got angry when the young man was leaning into the counter and whispering to Snodia at the bottle store and that is how he got hurt that night.”

I started laughing. Laughing at Yeukai words, laughing at the situation between Jemu and Snodia, laughing at my pain, my anger, humiliation, everything. It hurt  and embarrassed me so much that my husband would be out there fighting over a woman, getting hurt in the process and having me take care of him. Having him shout at me and treat me like a worthless piece of property. I laughed so hard, the more I tried to stop, the more I laughed. Yeukai left me laughing like a lunatic, tears flowing down my cheeks. I laughed for a long time till my ribs hurt, then I started crying, then I just sat there, rocking back and forth, angry and wanting to revenge Jemu for all this humiliation. I sat there for a while; till the fire had died then with a wild thought on my mind, I rose and went to take a bath.