I would have said I am afraid of the dark, spiders, heights, large water bodies. I was afraid of all these at one time, very afraid..then I learnt to sleep with the lights off, I cleaned-off cob webs and spiders from a disused room, made trips with aero-planes a couple of times and fooled around in the water at the beach a couple of times. I realised, I had met my fears head-on and conquered them.
I have lost loved ones... four of them in the past three years. This left me broken. Again I would say I fear death. Well I came very close to it when I got mugged... very very close to slipping away.But I survived.
I lost my father when I was very young...I do not even remember what his voice sounded like..or how he walked... his scent. Nothing. Nothing at all.
But for these four people I lost....I had known them for over a decade, shared very special moments with them. I know how they talked, how they walked, their scents. Everything.
My biggest fear would be to let these memories slip. I lost them to death and the only way I can keep them closer to my heart would be to keep the memories alive.
I do not want to forget how they smiled. I do not want to to have their images become blurred, I do not want their voices to become lost in the winds.
For forgetting how they laughed and how they cried , how they ran and how they walked , how they sat and how they stood and how ....Lord everything.... would be to lose them forever.
And that is my greatest fear.
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