Monday, 3 June 2019

Maybe God has left this place a long time ago

“Kana uine kwekuenda muzukuru, enda. Muno muZimbabwe hamuna chirimo.”


The golden candle light threw shadows on the careworn face of the cobbler, his soft words punctuated by the hammering sound he was producing from fixing the tips of my shoes. Winter was here and I needed to wear my boots and I had taken them to the dreadlocked cobbler to be sorted out. He had said the words so softly I didn’t know if I had heard them or imagined them. This had been the general sentiment; everyone was trying to leave Zimbabwe. Staying behind was proving harder by day.


I do not know what made my eyes smart; the cobbler’s words or the thick smoke holding the entire neighborhood in its grip. I swallowed my sobs away and in a collected voice, asked the cobbler for his phone number; I needed to pay for the tips using Ecocash and I needed to do it before my battery had died. We had not had electricity the whole day.

With my mended boots in a plastic bag, we walked away from the dim shack to an Ecocash stall to look for cash for the next day’s transport fare. Their cash out percentage was good, 17 percent, compared to the 23 and 25 percent charged in town. But they had no cash. The next stall did not have cash either and the one next to the noisy pub had already closed. We resorted to going into the small grocery shack and change the last 100 rand we had into RTGS. We knew the rate had gone above 40 but the shopkeeper offered us 35. We took it. We were desperate.

My niece and I huddled together as the bitter cold June wind bit into our skin as we left the surprisingly busy shopping area. We played a game of counting the cars that were in the long winding queue that started at Zuva service station well into the dusty ghetto streets. We gave up, there were many cars, and it was too cold. And there was no electricity so we were going back home to find our sadza cold.

It was a Sunday evening. We had to find a way to sort out school uniforms and work clothes so that they would not be too creased to wear the next morning incase power did not come back. My niece wanted help with quadratic equations; she knew I was always ready to help with homework. Education was the key right? On this evening I however found myself looking back to the years and effort spent in school. What did I have to show for it? I was well into my thirties and still going round in circles. I blinked back tears as my niece huddled closer, seeking warmth and solace from me. I must have said something silly to make her laugh. I could not break down in front of the children, we were their pillar.

As we walked on, there was the cutting sound of a siren and a loud cheer. Power was back. My niece and I grinned at each other, I whistled. We could at least get home and charge phones, make a hot cup of tea and iron uniforms and work clothes. I needed my phone charged to check my emails and see if there was any good news for my applications for scholarships and other crazy things people apply for in desperation. I also needed to check social media, to see if there was anything going on out there to offer us some respite.

When we went past the community borehole, there was still a long queue of people waiting to fetch water, in the dark. The chatter going on in the queue centered on how gas was now at 13 RTGS per kilogram.

We got home. To bright lights. And the meter flickering red. We were almost out of electricity units. I put my phone on the charger and opened my Ecocash app. After trying for a couple of times, I managed to purchase electricity, but the token did not come. I tried, for a long time, slumped against the cold wall, on the linoleum floor, to view the token but it did not work out.

I was exhausted. I needed to sleep. I said a prayer that the power wouldn’t go till our phones were at least charged. And that today I would at least get some sleep not turn and toss then waking up in a pool of sweat, panicking about what the future held for me and my children in this place that felt like God had left a long time ago.



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